Phoenix’s Sensationally Psychotic Steak Marinade

I’M BACK AND READY TO COOK!!!!!!!!!!  Hello everyone sorry I am late.  I may have to reschedule my blog/blogs to every other week.  Sorry for screaming but it isn’t me. It’s my evil conscious.  AAAAHHHH!!!  I’ll smash you onto the ground!!  Sorry it’s him again.  Let’s get started.

Step 1: Get a bowl and pour teriyaki 2t

Step 2: Steak sauce 2T

Step 3: Italian dressing 2t

Step 4: Worcestershire sauce 2t

Step 5: ketchup 4T

Step 6: 5 dill pickle slices and 1/4 t pickle juice

Step 7: black pepper 1/8t

Step 8: Montreal spicy 1t

Step 9: Garlic powder 1t

Step 10: Salt 1/2 t

Step 11: 2 Pounds of steak – your choice of cut

And for the best part, MMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!

Spicing things up!!

Getting ready to mix it up!

Now, put the sauce onto the steak and Marinade!  Don’t cook the steak yet, though.  It needs to soak up this stuff overnight.

Then when you’re ready to cook it, have your grownup set the broiler to low and cook it up for 20 minutes on one side, flip ‘em over, and give ‘em another 10 minutes or so.

It tastes even better than it looks!!!

 

THUMBS UP!!!

AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! I’LL MAKE YOU WISH YOU WEREN’T HERE.  YOU’LL END UP WITH AN IRON KIDNEY!!!!!!  Sorry the beast of the year is out of control. Sorry I have to go now but this is a bad time to trap a wild ape and doing my blog at the same time. Bye! AAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  RUN!!!!!!!

 

 

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Phoenix’s Supreme SpaBurger

I’M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello everyone I have a new food invention that is probably one of my best ones.  This one is a spaburger (Spu-bur-ger.) These ingredients might be a little complex but you’ll get the hang of it.  Here are the ingredients:

Oh you’re gonna LOVE this one! It’s on top of my weird inventions list!

First, you must have 1lb of ground beef

Next, you get Sesame buns

Then, butter it for garlic bread

After that, get grated Parmesan cheese

Get tomato sauce

Get out garlic salt

Get out garlic powder

Get an egg

Get breadcrumbs

Get spaghetti

You can add pickles if you want

And finally, you can add ketchup or mustard.

First, have your grownup preheat the oven to 325 degrees.

Then you mix the beef with a pinch of garlic salt, a pinch of garlic powder, ¼ cup breadcrumbs, and the egg.  Your grownup needs to do this because it’s gross.

I add the ingredients – my grownup does the dirty work!

While your grownup is getting their hands all yucky, you cook up the spaghetti.

NO ONE breaks spaghetti like me

And you butter all of the buns, add garlic powder and garlic salt and then put in the oven for 6 minutes.

Up next, you have your grownup shape patties out of the raw meat mess and put them in a frying pan.

Fryin’ up the burgers!

When the patties are brown (NO PINK), finish up the burger and put it in the bun, and put your toppings on, if you want them.

So here is a visual guide to awesomeness:

Put the burger on the garlic bread bun

Add pickles. I used dill pickles but sweet ones will work too. But I hate sweet pickles, just for the record.

Add some ketchup. Ketchup has been proven to make the world a better place. Really.

The best part – after that, put the spaghetti, cheese, and tomato sauce on top.

Close the bun and add the cooked spaghetti on top of it. Not kidding.

Add the tomato sauce.

Add the cheese. If you need it to melt more, just nuke the whole thing for 15 seconds.

That is how you make a spaburger.  Yes, you are putting spaghetti on top of a burger on a garlic bread bun. I know, it’s awesome, right?

A Supreme thumbs up! Right Raven?

 

RIGHT!

Goodbye and Adios.

Phoenix’s Grilled Cheese Pizza Roll Up!!!

Hello everyone I’m back. My blog for this week is a Grilled Cheese Pizza Roll Up. Sorry I’m very late. I’m still a bit jet-lagged from my trip to California – which was a TOTAL BLAST!!  My aunt Doree, Uncle Jeff, and cousins Jenny, Alexis and Zane rock!!!  I love you!!

My cat, Jinx loves to watch me cook my awesome food inventions. He always hopes I drop some on the floor!

The ingredients are:

Whole wheat bread – each slice = 1 roll, so take out as many slices as you want

Grated mozzarella cheese

Tomato sauce

Garlic powder

Pepper

Oregano

Butter

You can also use other things like pepperoni, meatballs, mushrooms, you know – pizza stuff.  I just wanted plain cheesy goodness.

Anyways, the way you make the Grilled cheese Pizza Roll Up is:

SMOOSH THE BREAD!!! It’s FUN!!!

Step one; flatten the bread by mushing it down with your hands.  It needs to be totally flat.  Why not use a wrap?  Because that would be BORING!  MUSH THE BREAD – IT’S FUN!

Cheese-a-licious!

Step two; put cheese (mozzarella) on, and put pepper, oregano, and garlic on, and then roll them up!

Funny faces need to be made just before rolling. Fact.

 

I’m on a roll!!! HAHAHAHAHA!

Rolls of pizza

Step three; Grill them with butter in a frying pan (you need your grown up for that part) and then get out tomato sauce as a side dip to make it like pizza.

Getting grilled.

 

Saucy!!

 

Now step four is very, very important. Step four: enjoy your food!!

THUMBS UP – BAY-BEE

Thank you!!

Phoenix’s Supreme Spaghetti Sandwich

 

Hello everyone!  I am very sorry for not writing a blog last week.  I was very busy with dealing with school, my homework, and exhaustion.  Anyways, do you see the list of ingredients?  Well that’s what you need.  I’m now giving you a numbered list of what’s done first.  Here you go.

Get ready for AWESOMENESS

1T Worcestershire sauce

1 lb 93% lean ground beef

2 T Italian dressing

1/2 t oregano

1/4 t garlic salt

1/8 t parsley

1 t basil

1/8 t pepper

1 t garlic powder

2 pinches of salt (plus salt for the boiling water to cook spaghetti)

1 box spaghetti

1 jar spaghetti sauce

1 package small whole wheat tortillas

Shredded mozzarella cheese

 

1. First get some water in a large pot, throw some salt in it and bring it to a boil – this is for the spaghetti.  While you’re waiting for that to boil,  mix the following stuff together:

1 lb 93% lean ground beef

1 T Worcestershire sauce

2 T Italian dressing

2.  Now we’re onto the spices.  It doesn’t matter which one goes first, just add ‘em all.

Spice it up!

3.  Then get your poor grown up to stick their hands in that mess and mix it all up.

More butterfly knife moves with my measuring spoons – needs to be done. You know that by now

4.  Throw that gunk into a pan and brown it up.

5.  Now listen, the spaghetti sauce goes next.  (check on the water – when it’s boiling, throw the spaghetti in there).

Ok – now for the easy part – breaking the spaghetti!

Okay – not quite as easy as I thought.

Um – Raven….

Well whaddaya know…I think she discovered a new technique!

But I still broke my spaghetti first!!!!

After that, get a whole wheat tortilla and some olive oil and a pan.  You put a drop of olive oil in the pan, put the heat on low, and heat the tortilla for 30 seconds on each side.

Now – ASSEMBLE!

First, you put some spaghetti inside.

Put spaghetti in the center of the tortilla

.Next, put the meat inside

Meaty goodness

Then  you put some shredded mozzarella cheese inside

Cheesy goodness

Now, you roll it up, and there you go, a spaghetti wrap.

 

Rolled goodness

Go on, go on, say it’s delicious.  SAY IT NOW!!!!!

Thumbs up, baybee!

That’s the face of a happy chef, believe it or not!

 

 

 

Phoenix’s Terrificly Tasty Taco Burgers!!

Taco Burger!

Hey everyone I’m back with a new recipe.  Make sure you have a drink handy because it’s SPICY!! 

HOT recipe alert!!

 Now, the ingredients are very important to follow so listen closely.  Here’s a list of ingredients.

Cayenne 1/8 t

Montreal steak 1/2 t

Oregano 1 t

Garlic salt 1/8 t

Garlic powder 1 T

Black pepper 1/4 t

Chili powder 1 t

Cumin 1/2 t

Ketchup 1/3 C

Taco shells 10

Ground beef extra lean 1 lb

Shredded cheddar cheese

Sour cream

Pickles

Relish

Sweet peppers 2

Now you could put all this in a bowl and mix everything together.  Except for the taco shell and peppers.  The peppers and toppings are just suggestions, by the way.

Once you mix it all together, form patties (you may want to have your grown up do it because – raw meet – EW!!!) Make sure you make them a little smaller than you normally would.

These patties are a tiny bit smaller than regular patties so that they fit in the taco better

While the patties are cooking, you can cut up the sweet peppers.

I LOVE sweet peppers. You don’t have to use them, though. BUT YOU SHOULD!

Stick ‘em in a frying pan and when they’re all done (NO PINK!!!), slice them in half so they look like half moons.  That way they fit inside the taco shells – am I brilliant or what?!?

Fryin’ ’em up!

`While waiting for the patties to cook and if you’re all done cutting up the sweet peppers, you can make a pinwheel out of your taco shells before you nuke them in the microwave.

Taco shell pinwheel – I was bored

Raven’s seal of approval – success! Check out the sour cream on her nose. No, I didn’t tell her before I took the pic, muwahahahaha!!

And MY seal of approval. Note no sour cream on my nose

Happy lunchtime!!

Phoenix’s Turkey Burger Burger!!

BOO!! I’m the ghostly spirit of the Turkey Burger Burger!

Hey everyone I’m back with a recipe perfect for you monsters.

This recipe is awesome. This recipe has a garlic bread bun.

Before I give you the list of ingredients, I need to do some butterfly knife moves with the measuring spoons. It’s just something I have to do, sorry.

My ninja butterfly knife moves with a measuring spoon are legendary

Here’s a list of ingredients:

Ingredients for Phoenix’s Turkey Burger Burger!!

1.1 pound of ground turkey

2. Bread crumbs ½ c

3.Steak sauce 1 tablespoon

4.Worcesteshire one tablespoon

5.Soy sauce 1 teaspoon

6.Italian dressing 1/8 of a cup

7.Sesame oil half a teaspoon

8.Ketchup a few squirts of it

9.Olive oil 1 teaspoon

10.Garlic powder tablespoon

11.Black pepper 1/8 teaspoon

12. 6 sesame seed buns

13. Butter

14.Salt so demons can’t eat the food

First you get a bowl. Then you put everything except the buns and the butter (ew!) into the bowl.

Adding the ingredients to the mix. Your adult gets to do the fun part – mixing it with their hands!

Then you get your adult to use their bare hands to mix this unsightly mess. (Poor parents. NOT!)

While all of this amusing stuff is going on, tell your adult they have to preheat the oven to 350 degrees. (You’re lucky because you get to tell your adult what to do!)

Melt some butter into a pan.

Form patties out of the slimy mess in the bowl (yes, your adult can do that too, hahahahah!!)

Next, you put the patties into the pan.

While they are cooking, take some butter and butter the sesame buns lightly.

Just use a little butter

Then you sprinkle some garlic powder and salt on them.

Place the buns in the oven for about 2 minutes or so.

When the burgers are done (no pink! Pink is BAAAAADDD!!!), place them on the garlic bread buns.

DONE!

Phoenix’s Turkey Burger Burger on Garlic Bread is DONE!

Raven’s seal of approval

MY seal of approval!

Rise out of your grave! This is your zombie king! I smell a turkey burger burger! Follow me and capture the so-called Phoenix’s ghost and steal all his recipes!!

Crazy Chicken Sandwich Sauciness

Hi everyone!  I’m back with a new recipe.

Sorry I’m late, we did some traveling this weekend (I was in the car with my family for over 4 straight hours.  Each way.  I was in no mood.)

The new recipe is DELICIOUS!

It’s a chicken sandwich with a special sauce I invented!

A lot of ingredients today, but it’s gonna be great!

Ingredients:

6 Frozen chicken breasts

Garlic Powder 1 T

McCormick Spicy Montreal Steak seasoning 1 t

Shredded carrots 1 C

Red cooking wine ½ C

Ketchup 1 C

Worcestershire Sauce 3 T

Italian salad dressing ½ C

Celerey seed 1/8 t

Garlic salt  ¼ t

Ginger 1 T

Black pepper 1 t

Chinese Five Spice 1 t

Shredded cheddar cheese 1 C

6 potato rolls

Your adult needs to preheat the oven to 350 and bake the chicken breasts for about 40 minutes (make sure they’re not pink inside!!)

While the chicken is baking, mix all of the ingredients except the carrots in a bowl using a whisk.

The ingredients blend better when you laugh like a mad scientist while mixing them. Trust me.

Once everything is mixed well, add the carrots.

Once the carrots are added and mixed, this next step is very important.  You need to take your measuring spoons and pretend you’re flinging around a butterfly knife.  Needs to be done, sorry.

Measuring spoons flung around like butterfly knives is what needs to be done next.

Your adult needs to help you warm up the sauce on a low flame for about fifteen minutes or so.

When the chicken is ready (make sure you cut the pieces open to make sure there’s no pink!  PINK IS BAD!) place the chicken on the roll and sprinkle some cheddar cheese on it.

Cheesalicious!

Spoon the sauce over the sandwich.

Saucalicious!

Eat.  It will be amazing, trust me!

Raven approved! (So did the rest of us but we were all camera shy). Raven is NEVER camera shy.

Thank you for reading!!

Phoenix’s aMazing Steak Marinade Madness

I’M BACK WITH ANOTHER RECIPE!  This recipe is awesome!  It’s a lot of ingredients but it’s also probably the easiest to make.

This recipe involves these ingredients:

1. Red cooking wine 1/2 C

2. Steak sauce 2 T

3.Soy sauce 5 t

4. Oregano 1/2 t

5. Parsley 1 t

6. Garlic powder 1 t

7. Chili powder 1/2 t

8. Garlic salt 1/2 t

9. Black pepper 1/8 t

10. Onion powder 1/2 t

11. Italian dressing 2 T

12. Ketchup 1 T

13. Sugar 1 t

Then you take a bowl, pour these ingredients in the bowl and mix them up!  Then you pour the mixture on the steak and marinate in the fridge overnight.

Then, you want to know what the steak tastes like?  Well you’re gonna have to find out next week.  To be continued…

Yay!  I’m now a cliffhanger!

Phoenix’s Iced Blueberry Apple Muffin Mayhem

Hi everyone sorry I didn’t make blogs all week because I was really busy.  I hope you’re not mad though.  Anyways I made an idea where you make a blueberry muffin with a chopped apple in the middle.  You have to chew well because you can choke.  It’s really good though.  It could go well as dessert.

Simple ingredients = INSANE TASTINESS!

The ingredients are really easy:

A box of Jiffy blueberry muffin mix (it’s not cheating because I’m adding my own awesomeness to this!)

Milk

1 egg

Cupcake liner

1 apple (I used a honeycrisp)

Vanilla frosting

First have your grownup preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

Then mix the blueberry mix with the amount of milk the directions on the box call for (I think it was 1/4 cup)

Add the egg (please crack it first)

Next peel the apple

Peeling the apple

 

Then chop the apple into tiny pieces

Adding the diced apple to the mix

 

You can have your little helper put the cupcake liners into the muffin pan while you’re doing all of the other stuff

Putting my little sister to good use as the cupcake liner girl

 

Mix the ingredients up really well

Mixing it up

 

Now scoop some of the mix into each of the cups and bake them for about 30 minutes.  When the 30 minutes is up, have your grownup take them out and cool them off for you.

Golden brown, fresh out of the oven!

 

After they are cooled off, add the vanilla frosting

Icing on the muffin – YUM!

 

For extra sugary goodness, you can add sprinkles.

Let the tasting begin! And the verdict is….

 

Another thumbs up for Phoenix’s Phenomenal Food Inventions!! I know I don’t look too excited here, but it’s because I’m overwhelmed with the amazing taste sensations….

 

 

Thanks for reading, you guys are the best.  As always, I will see you next week!!  BYE, NO BATHROOM BREAK FOR THE PIZZA BURRITO!!!!!

It’s Finally Here! Phoenix’s Pizza Burrito Special!!

Hi everyone, I’m back!  Since this is my birthday week (September 26!) – I have updated my pizza burrito recipe.

All week long I’m going to make dessert recipes to celebrate my upcoming birthday!  But this one is my last lunch/dinner recipe for the week.

So let’s talk about this!

Everything you need to make my Pizza Burrito Special (except the ground beef. It was hiding when I took this picture.)

Here are the ingredients you will need:

1 pound of ground beef

2 cups of shredded Mexican cheese

2 cups of shredded mozzarella cheese

1 large can/jar of pizza sauce

1 package of 10 inch tortillas

olive oil

a pinch of each seasoning:

garlic powder

garlic salt

parsley flakes

chili powder

ground pepper

oregano

salt

It would probably taste good with rice and beans in it too, but I didn’t add that because I don’t like that stuff.  You know what they say about beans….(They make you you know what, BATHROOM BREAK!)

So first thing you have to do is not play with your cat before you start cooking.  If you do, PLEASE wash your hands really REALLY well.

Playing with cats before cooking – yes, I washed my hands!

And Raven did too

Next, you take the ground beef and brown it all.  No pink!!

Browning up the ground beef

Drain away the greasy yuckiness left over.

Now take about a third to maybe a half cup of the pizza sauce and mix it up with the ground beef.  Make sure it’s mixed really well.

Mixing in the pizza sauce

Throw in all of the seasonings I listed.

Take one of the tortillas, put it on a plate, and have your grownup nuke it for 30 seconds.

Getting ready to nuke for 30 seconds

When it’s done nuking, pour a drop of olive oil onto the tortilla and spread it. Not too much.

Next you take a scoop of the meat mixture and place it neatly into the middle of the tortilla.

After spreading the olive oil, neatly put the ground beef mixture into the tortilla

Then you take some of the shredded Mexican cheese and mozzarella cheese and place it on top of the meat, along with some pizza sauce.

A yummy mixture of a shredded Mexican blend and mozzarella cheeses

Now roll it!

This is how I roll

Put some extra cheese and sauce on top of it and have your grownup nuke it for about 20 seconds to melt the cheese.

Topping it off with some extra cheese

Some sauce

And you got yourself Phoenix’s Pizza Burrito Special!!

Raven and I did the taste test….IT’S A GO!!

Thumbs up for the Pizza Burrito Special!

NO BATHROOM BREAK! NO BEANS ALLOWED!!!! ( if you want.)

Bye!! See you tomorrow!!